On the reading of two books:

I am currently in the middle of two very different books. One is called “Jude the Obscure” by Thomas Hardy. It was written in 1895 and follows a poor man who’s dreams of going to university are not realized, ends up marrying a woman because she pretends to be pregnant, falls in love with his unhappily married cousin and between them (he and his cousin) they bear children and are despised by the people around them. It is, in part, an exploration of the depths to which a person can descend and the prejudices that abound.

The other book I am reading is “Saint Francis of Assisi” written by G.K. Chesterton. It is Chesterton’s writings about a man who was intensely in love with Christ. Saint Francis took God seriously and as a result did not take himself seriously. He did many things that the people around him did not understand with the purpose of bringing God’s children back to Himself.

One book explores depths and the other explores heights. (As a side, I think it is ironic that the “higher” book is about a man who was incredibly humble and intent on lowering himself before God and man while the “lower” book is about a man who intended to raise himself to another social stature and ended up drowning in mire.) The first book by Hardy impresses upon me the despair that a person can bring upon himself through his fallen nature. The second book is not only uplifting but encourages me to imagine what my life would look like if I truly loved Jesus like He calls us to love Him.

I must ask myself what is the best expenditure of the time I have been given. For while the depths can be informative, I find myself concerned about what encourages me to produce fruit and develop character. As a mother of a little one, I want him to see me seeking to know God in all that I do. Do not misunderstand me; I do not want to be isolated from the pain that exists. I refer again to St. Francis who lived in the midst of the pain of a leper colony in abject poverty. I want to see this pain the way God sees it; knowing that He would not have it this way and he has left His servants here to bind the wounds with Christ’s grave cloths so that He can work His miracle of healing.

Some would say that you must know of that pain before you can heal it and that is why we need to know works like Hardy’s. I don’t disagree and that is why I haven’t quit the reading of “Jude,” but when I think about what to make the primary focus of my reading I want it to be “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable” and all things excellent and praiseworthy.